Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
