I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
