You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
