And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
