ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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