we're chasing vodka with high fives
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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