2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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