hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
