Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
