I'll bet she douches with gravy.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
