what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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