Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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