Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
