Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
