theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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