so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
