I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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