at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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