these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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