Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

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  (916): put your butt on the phone this is a booty call http://tfl.nu/3vuo
  Replies (25) Good night (3086) Bad night (746)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.

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  (216): We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me. http://tfl.nu/rmif
  Replies (15) Good night (2644) Bad night (727)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker

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  (631): i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker http://tfl.nu/xdfg
  Replies (16) Good night (4838) Bad night (1294)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.

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  (404): We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning. http://tfl.nu/65kx
  Replies (4) Good night (3276) Bad night (865)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

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  (614): I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out. http://tfl.nu/60nc
  Replies (12) Good night (1452) Bad night (4472)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.

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  (256): I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him. http://tfl.nu/7zd5
  Replies (23) Good night (1222) Bad night (5811)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

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  (832): I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/ohwe
  Replies (25) Good night (6690) Bad night (1152)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail

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  (410): i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail http://tfl.nu/uma4
  Replies (9) Good night (1029) Bad night (2159)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny

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  (860): Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny http://tfl.nu/2672
  Replies (9) Good night (2049) Bad night (982)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.

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  (505): I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am. http://tfl.nu/o50r
  Replies (26) Good night (3630) Bad night (787)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.

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  (303): I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high. http://tfl.nu/hr24
  Replies (10) Good night (1142) Bad night (521)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.

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  (412): The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked. http://tfl.nu/s0us
  Replies (10) Good night (612) Bad night (891)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.

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  (217): Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons. http://tfl.nu/9jo6
  Replies (9) Good night (1516) Bad night (730)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.

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  (617): In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame. http://tfl.nu/9nrq
  Replies (0) Good night (431) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool

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  (919): We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool http://tfl.nu/zthr
  Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (203)

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