Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party

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  (954): youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party http://tfl.nu/dv0f
  Replies (7) Good night (2851) Bad night (784)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Small penises have feelings too.

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  (573): Small penises have feelings too. http://tfl.nu/ikhv
  Replies (68) Good night (778) Bad night (3735)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So do you want to come over? ;)

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.

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  (612): So do you want to come over? ;) (763): Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/m0zn
  Replies (44) Good night (1160) Bad night (6823)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  You win. Erica always eats cat food.

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  (360): Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal. (1-360): You win. Erica always eats cat food. http://tfl.nu/lw2c
  Replies (10) Good night (3811) Bad night (779)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.

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  (727): and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go. http://tfl.nu/b20y
  Replies (37) Good night (10092) Bad night (1203)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dont start drinking without me

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  (215): is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor? (609): dont start drinking without me http://tfl.nu/ofdx
  Replies (47) Good night (4956) Bad night (891)
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  (607): View more from New York

  do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand

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  (607): do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand http://tfl.nu/6yen
  Replies (21) Good night (3485) Bad night (1030)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT

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  (804): IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT http://tfl.nu/e7uf
  Replies (40) Good night (9354) Bad night (1546)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man

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  (512): When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man http://tfl.nu/fxmb
  Replies (32) Good night (7321) Bad night (921)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged

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  (814): when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged http://tfl.nu/78pb
  Replies (16) Good night (4706) Bad night (2734)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.

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  (712): in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am. http://tfl.nu/pxzm
  Replies (5) Good night (2474) Bad night (1063)
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  (949): View more from California

  I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls

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  (949): I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls http://tfl.nu/ympq
  Replies (3) Good night (1580) Bad night (1018)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome

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  (215): Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome http://tfl.nu/saao
  Replies (3) Good night (1857) Bad night (640)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away

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  (772): I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away http://tfl.nu/uyq2
  Replies (6) Good night (911) Bad night (408)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single

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  (719): It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single http://tfl.nu/v0bh
  Replies (3) Good night (426) Bad night (285)

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