She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.