We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me