let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I believe in your delicious
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
