Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
