i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
