Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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