you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
