Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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