Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
