I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
