Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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