Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
