I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
