bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
