Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
