Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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