I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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