Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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