I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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