So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
