I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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