sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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