Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Randomize