take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
