i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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