gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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