And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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