i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
