i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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