Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
