maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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