those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
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I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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