idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
