I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
