just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
