I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
