I'm gonna have a badass scar
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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