I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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