The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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