wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
